2 Sonnets I wrote today

I wrote you a song, it was out of key
Words were all jumbled, a terrible sight.
Tryin' to explain just what you mean to me.
No matter how I try nothing seems right.
You're too perfect for these words that I say
So forgive me for this clumsy charade.
You're just that boy who can blow me away
And I just can't fix the mess that I made
I was scared to leap so I couldn't fly
You spread my wings and you showed me the way
You're the one who brought this gleam to my eye
So you can't blame me if I were to say
I wrote you a song, it was out of key
Tryin' to explain just what you mean to me.


here is the second one:

Why do we pretend that we see the light?
Can't you tell there is only darkness here?
Through the woods we got lost in blackest night
And for us there is no way out I fear.
The lies that you told and the dreams I weave
Has lead us down this hopeless patch of road.
You were so willing, eager to deceive
My dreams eagerly wanting lies you told
And this folly leads us both astray
To forgotten paths, lost forever more
Dreaming so sweetly of the light of day
not to be seen, as much as we implore.
So do not tell me that there is light to come
my heart is broke, and too my soul undone



what do you think?  

Gloat :D

Recently I have been on a pretty steady up. Almost everything that has been troubling me is kind of gone. I am reading more, I am listening to new music, I am just in a generally pretty happy place. I am a bit worried about a few things, but for once I am completely calm about it. I got in contact with my doctor, my medicine is ready for me, and I am just on a good track.
I hope things stay this way.

Also it will be Adam and my one year a month from tomorrow. Where did the time go? I am honestly rather amazed. So :P to all who bet we wouldn't make it this far. :) for once I will gloat about being right.

Well I am gonna listen to Hurt and read now <3

Wren

New Tattoo :)

what do you all think?

I am going to make a list of things/people that bother me... mostly people

Here we go

• Ignorance 
• People who act nice then talk shit about you 
• Anyone who thinks they are 'holier then thou' for some reason or another 
• liars 
• people who need to prove they are better, at EVERYTHING 
• hypochondriacs 
• parents who control every aspect of their child's life
• religious people  who feel the need to tell me I am going to hell because I do not subscribe to their beliefs. 
• people who need to make EVERY LITTLE STUPID ISSUE the end of the world. Get over it. You are not so important, that you need to throw a bitch fit
• people who blame everyone else for their problems 
• people who pretend they are better then me because they have never had sex. Good for you, sorry I am a  horrible person 
• when someone says they are going to call you, then doesn't 
• People who deny global climate change
• people who think homosexuals don't have the right to marry 
• girls who will not wear ANYTHING but certain brand names 
• arguing when you KNOW you are wrong. Just give up
• The current state of American political affairs 
• hypocrites 
• bad teenage novels *cough* TWILIGHT *cough*
• no, I don't want to know how much you hate one of my friends, go away
• people who judge people without knowing them
• bad movies 
• When people talk about things SO MUCH it makes EVERYONE sick of it. KNOCK IT OFF
• girls who feel the need to try and break up relationships 
• people who chose to be stupid. 
• anyone who feels the need to do drugs and alcohol to fix their problems. 
• anyone who tells someone with a mental disorder that it's 'not a real disorder' 
• assholes
• men who use women and vice versa
• acne
• people who think they are nonconformist and that makes them cool
• anyone who puts a label on themselves 

... I am done for now. Thank you very much

Some poetry for my fans :) an old poem, but i like it

Where Are You Now? 

I admit your kiss
Still knocks me off my legs.
The sweet joy of your smile
Still makes me want to melt
I give I give 
All that I have left
And you gave me, you gave me 
Some glimmering hope
So where are you now?
You forget your words
Still pierce right through my chest
Your gaze 
Still makes me want to try
I give I give 
All that I have left
And you gave me, you gave me
Some glimmering hope
So where are you now?
Have you forgotten
What you mean to me
Sometimes it seems
I am a whisper to you
I give I give
All that I have left
And you gave me, you gave me
Some glimmering hope
So where are you now?

I kept wishing on a million stars- part 2

So where was I....? Oh right.

Saturday (part two): So once in the limo, Adam and I realized we were sitting right under the buttons that control everything in the limo... Bad idea. I held him down as he desperately tried to press all the buttons, making the limo lights go on and off, the air conditioner go on and off, the music change, and so on and so forth. It made everyone laugh, even me. Sometimes he does act like a little kid, but it was cute. We then all pretended to be rich people, put on classical music and acted like complete assholes. I enjoyed it though.
Then of course, we got to the hotel. After waiting a few minutes, Adam and I went in and took pictures. :) I am sure they look good, I can't wait to get my copy. We then went into the dance room. The night went wonderfully. We got amazing food (there was a chocolate fountain) and though all my friends were there, I ended up sitting with Adam most of the night, smiling and talking with each other. Even though we were in a crowded room, I finally felt we had some alone time. Just time where I was able to sit in his arms and laugh and talk.
Most of the night passed by in a blur, but I got to do two slow dance songs with Adam and it was amazing. I especially liked the second one though I can't remember the song at all.  I had never felt more cared for and like I belonged. I didn't even like my junior or senior proms but this was a night that made me smile more then any other. I fell even more in love, if that is even possible.
The night ended and we got back in the limo. Adam got tired and started singing me love songs, which was really funny. Even as I said goodbye and went back to Brenda's I was still... just very happy. I just needed a night like that, and even though we didn't really dance, and just talked and ate a lot of food it was perfect :)

Sunday:... not so great XD I had to get up early and work. Then I babysit... But I guess the happiness was still there, and even today I feel it.

It was an amazing weekend. I really need weekends like that more often. Just the times I felt loved and happy and truly enjoyed myself.

I hope you all enjoyed :)

I kept wishing on a million stars

This had to be one of the best weekends I have had in my entire life. I feel elated, like I am floating on a cloud and all the worries I possibly ever had were evaporated in a beautiful moment and peace and tranquility filled the emptiness they left behind. I woke this morning to a world of beauty, even though I had to wake early and go to work.
Let me go through day by day.

Friday: after getting a mani/pedi (I love foot massages by the way) I decided to go and hang out with Brenda. So I drove down and went to baking and pastry, and though I had to deal with drama from Sky I enjoyed it imensly. Afterword, as a surprise, I went and saw Adam for a few minutes. Every moment with him makes me happy so it was all laughs.
We finished and I went to lunch with Brenda, Anthony, Karen, Shiva, and Dylan. Afterword we hung at the green, again more laugh and enjoyment. Brenda and I went back to her house where we decided I would spend two nights at her house :) Great plan, we are geniuses. So after we drove to my house, got all my things (thank you Brenda for the gas) we went to dinner then to Ellington where I got to see my awesome friends. Henrick and I had a great conversation about books and video games, and after a long night I went back to Brenda's where we soon fell asleep.

Saturday: how can I explain this day? It was.. Amazing. Brenda and I woke, played video games, and got some makeup ready. Time to get ready for prom of course. When Shiva and Karen joined us, we all got dressed and made up. We all looked stunning. Though I did think Brenda looked the best. You were gorgeous love.
Then it was time for me to leave the beautiful girls ;) and go to Adam's. For some reason I was nervous. Then again I had never had a date to prom, and I had even LEFT my senior prom. But all nervousness faded as we went to dinner at Bistro M where I work. Though he was overly silly I immediately calmed and melted in happiness. We got our alone time I had been longing for, and I felt closer to him then I ever had.
We left the resturant, where we went to Brenda's- for the limo of course. Brenda's generous mother payed for it all. After picture taking we got in, and we were off....


To be continued... It is a little late :p

Apparently, you are not allowed to loiter in hell

So I was listening to the audio book of Dante's Inferno. They were in the level of Greed and Virgil said 'We must not loiter here, it is forbidden.' so in my mind I imagine screaming people, fire, brimstone, the works with a sign in the middle that says 'No Loitering'. So I drew it. XD I think I am a little insane.

Anyway, today was absolutely  fantastic. Other then the beginning sickness, and the lack of sleep. Hot tubbing in the dark is AWESOME! Darin, we TOTALLY need to do that again. XD though I think next time I will sleep in my car.. >> I was really tired. But I made it home fine. Haha that is 3am driving for you.

Today was pretty good other then that too. I got to see Adam, and that is always a good thing. I miss him a lot more then I should sometimes but today I was just blissful to see him. Prom is this weekend too, and I am happy for that. Adam and I will be going to dinner alone :) and then riding in a limo with Brenda, Anthony, Karen, Shiva, and Dylan to prom. I am more excited to get to have a night with my friends, and Adam. In all honesty, I miss my social life with those friends. It is also nice to be reconnecting with people.

What else is going on... um........................ >> I am saving money?

Yeah, I got nothing. XD

bye all

Wren

Let her Cry

This has been a rather rotten week. So two weeks ago my grandparents came to visit. It was COMPLETE hell. Let me explain. They HATE each other, like seriously hate. So even though they yell at me for all the things I do wrong, they also always yell at each other. And everyone. They make life completely miserable. They sit around all day complaining about everything and never doing a thing about it. Like the more you complain it will go away? Then they yelled at me, it was raining during their visit. Oh yes, because everyone knows I control the rain.

They stayed for 11 days, and they were some of the most miserable 11 days I have spent in a long long time. At the same time, Adam was away and forgot his phone. Not that I need to talk to him all the time, but sometimes when I am completely miserable, it is nice to be able to call him and just feel better. Instead I was stuck in my room just trying to avoid people. It was a really depressing week. 

And even when he got home, we couldn't really see each other. :( sometimes it makes me sad how distanced we are even though we leave close enough for me to drive to him. Timing is always wrong or his parents won't let him. :/ I rarely feel like I am really 18 in our relationship, but I guess there are things you have to do. Even if sometimes I feel insulted, or that I am just not good enough... Hopefully when summer comes things will get better. All I can do is hope though. For now I love him enough to wait, after all some hardships aren't that bad. 

Anyway, my grandparents are gone now, and that is good. And prom is coming up. This is the first prom I will have had a date too, and I am no longer in high school. But i am excited none the less. And thanks to Brenda's mom, we get to ride in a limo. I am rather excited. Adam and I are going to try and go to dinner as well. So maybe this weekend will start a better segment. I defiantly need a pick me up :)

Thanks all for reading

Wren

Song for today: Let her Cry- Hootie and the Blowfish

Suggestions

I have been on a music kick recently, and I really need some new music to listen to. So here is a blog with a pathetic attempt to get ideas. So anyone who reads this, what is some good music I can listen to? I generally like everything, so any suggestions are welcome :)

So I have decided

I have decided I am not going to hold back anymore. If people piss me off, I will tell them. I am so sick of always being the doormat. So if you want to mess with me, expect repercussions. No longer will I except people talking shit about me, or my friends. So if I even hear about it, I will no longer hesitate to tell you off. I am so sick of always being the nice one who can't even stand up for herself because I am afraid of what people think. I need to be me, no matter what happens.

I think it is a good decision

So I am in love with this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT50zElbN0c&playnext_from=TL&videos=7-yDLWQ-KO0

I can't stop listening to it >>