May 28th

A year ago today I had no idea it would be the day I look on as one of the happiest days I can remember.

A year ago today I had no idea we started something wonderful.

A year ago today I took a chance- and allowed myself to open my heart to you. You accepted.

A year ago today you took a leap of faith, I am so glad you did. Hasn't it been worth it?

A year ago today... Was one of the best days of my life :)

I love you babe

I am

Completely over emotional. I am a friggen train wreck. Stupid thing that should not bother me make me cry. I don't know why I cry so much, I just can't help myself. I feel like an idiot.

I realize I make things worse with my over emotional bullshit. I make big deals out of things that aren't big deals. I push people away that way. I feel like a complete moron.

Yes I know I suffer from bipolar disorder, but I think it is winning. And I am disapointed in myself

A sad realizaton

I realized today that for a long while now I have not been able to say what has really been inside my heart. There are things I am yearning to say that for now, and probably for a long time, I am not permited to say. My feelings are alaways so powerful, so consuming. I always feel the things that resonate from my soul, hence I tend to say them a lot. But there has been a heavy wieght, and I have not seen why until today.

I was sitting in my car, listening to music as always, a million thoughts rushing through my head. I just realized I had felt... Like my feelings are too strong, I care too much. I just... I can't say everything I am feeling because it would be completely overwhelming. Especially for the people involved. Because I know that they do not feel nearly the same...

I am a little.... Disheartened by this. It hurts not to be honest, but it hurts more to know I can't be honest.

I am sad now.

Gross

I am... awkward at the moment. I am kind of in a place where I don't feel good enough. As much as I know I should not I feel.. used up. Spent. Almost as if I am just in a place where everything I do is just lacking. I am turning into a monotonous person. I just don't feel as important. Even to myself. 

I never thought I was beautiful, but I never thought I was disgusting. Today when I looked at myself I saw nothing but all the flaws. I felt gross. Like I was looking at a different person, and someone I didn't like. I tried to go to work and be chipper, but everyone acted like I was a nuisance. I don't know what it is.... But it just makes me feel like maybe I am not worth it to most people.. Maybe it's why a lot of my friends are disappearing. I am just the same old Wren, and people are sick of it. 

Sorry for the emo rant. I just feel... gross. 

Anger

I will never understand complete stupidity for no reason whatsoever.. Sorry, I am rather annoyed right now. The idea of authority for no reason other than authorities sake makes me a little more than agitated. Why are there rules that serve no purpose other then to be rules? Seems counter productive don't you think?

If there are valid reasons behind rules then I agree they are perfectly logical and in fact needed. Chaos for chaos's sake in and of itself is also foolish. But thei doesn't the idea of making a rule for no reason other than to present authority chaos in and of itself? It seems to make all the real, and logical rules less substancial when you know that authority can make any rules when they find it convenient. Even if that rule has absolutely no logic. It makes you respect the authority less when they take away freedoms on a whim don't you think?


... I think I am in a bad mood

How I want my hair to look

I know this is Katy Perry, but how would you think I would look with this hair?

Where Does a Year Go?

So in approximately 23 days (actually exactly 23 days xD ) Adam and I will have been together for a full year. I am extremely excited, and taken a little bit by surprise. In all honestly, normally my relationships start off amazingly and then tend to end pretty badly in some way or another. Adam and I started off great, and even with the few bumps in the road, everything is still rather amazing. I have never felt this content and... sure about things in any relationship. It is a wonderful feeling. Time flies, it really does, and I look back over this year and realize it is one of the best years I have ever spent, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It has been a year of smiled and laughs, good times with the bad... But I have always come back to someone who makes me smile and always makes me feel cared for and special

He is the most amazing guy, and I am so glad I have him.

I am very happy right now :)

Love, Wren