I realized today that for a long while now I have not been able to say what has really been inside my heart. There are things I am yearning to say that for now, and probably for a long time, I am not permited to say. My feelings are alaways so powerful, so consuming. I always feel the things that resonate from my soul, hence I tend to say them a lot. But there has been a heavy wieght, and I have not seen why until today.I was sitting in my car, listening to music as always, a million thoughts rushing through my head. I just realized I had felt... Like my feelings are too strong, I care too much. I just... I can't say everything I am feeling because it would be completely overwhelming. Especially for the people involved. Because I know that they do not feel nearly the same...
I am a little.... Disheartened by this. It hurts not to be honest, but it hurts more to know I can't be honest.
I am sad now.
Hey Wren,
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't really kept up with much that has been going on. There's just been so much going on lately I haven't really had a lot of time to just kind of chill around on the internet and even really post on my actual page! After catching up with everything I'm very proud to hear about your successful relationship! It will be my girlfriend and my 20th month together here pretty soon and I assure time does fly. On the other note I'm sorry to hear about your "Sad Realization". When I read this post I thought back to about 3 months ago when I was leaving Wal-Mart I was just suddenly hit by such a strong feeling it felt as if my very soul was trembling. I just started crying in my car driving away because I felt such sorrow for everything that has happened to anyone and I know, and don't know, and to even the world itself. Did you know that the old Indian Tribes used to tell a tale about a white buffalo that was only born in times when mother earth needed healing? It's actually a very interesting read, I think you would like it a lot. I guess all I'm trying to say here is that you are not alone. You have many people in your life that really want to see you grow and expand and learn about the world. In these "Last Words" by Thousand Foot Crutch, "...the world is not worth leaving"