Twirling through sick lullabies

Continued from last night

Anyway, like I was saying I just feel lacking in everything. Almost as if I am going slower then most. Every time I want to feel alright, and I truthfully try my best something kicks me back down. I am not even sure how to keep getting back up. I am almost ready to disconnect and just fall back into myself... But I know it is not the right thing to do. It will not solve anything.

On top of all of this my dog, Moka, is very sick. She can barely walk and she has a bad fever... I am trying to learn how to let her go, but it is not easy. I know she is 12, and I know she has lived a long time.. I just love her dearly. I am not even sure how exactly to handle the situation. I feel sad, yet I am a swirling mess... I am so out of energy. I have no energy to be too sad...

I am not sure what to do. But I need to find a solution soon. I cannot continue to be an emotional whirlwind sweeping the people I love the most into the mix.

I apologize if I sound like an emotional freak.